Descent or ascent . . . . .

My first blog using Word Press….

It has not been quite a year yet, but it seems as if I am at a standstill. There seems to be a disconnected uncertainty that I am unable to shake, despite my Will and the urgency. My current path is leading me closer to the Truth in ways that I would never have expected and in ways that I would have denied not much over a year ago. Still, these thoughts have no context in the way that I understand ‘revelation’, and I cannot help this nagging feeling that either I am not up to the challenge (yet) or maybe I am just not taking the time to listen to that “still small voice”.
Time that should be used meditating is instead used falling asleep in front of the TV, time spent reading is time wasted on my laptop and time contemplating is used to listen to audio books.

What if these distractions are nothing more than a break from the seeking that I have spent the last 8+ months? Am I justifying mere laziness? Am I afraid of what I might find if I go further?

Hopefully I will take steps to find out these answers.